Southbank

>Red Emperor, Unit 3, 3, Southgate Avenue, Southbank
www.redemperor.com.au
We went here for Mena’s birthday and it was a treat. Red Emperor is known as one of the best places for yum cha (or dim sum as we know it is Europe) in Melbourne. The food is sublime, the river views expansive, the service polite and efficient.

Lee’s rules for eating at the Emperor include:
– Always order the “all you can eat” option
– Never order rice or noodles
– Try not to choose from every trolley going past
– Save some space for the really good stuff at the end
– Don’t bother with dessert unless you like melon or semolina

Miyako, shop UR2, Upper Level, Southbank
www.miyakocuisine.com.au
Beautiful views of the river from the sheltered balcony, waitresses in kimonos and delicious food. What’s not to like?!

E Gusto
www.egusto.com.au
This is so popular with local office people that the company I’m temping for call it “the boardroom”. An easy-going popular place with outside tables right on the river, E Gusto has a good Italian menu and a relaxed feel.

Blue Train
www.bluetrain.com.au
This is a great place to meet with friends as the menu is so wide it pleases everybody. Wood-fired pizzas with original toppings are my favourite, although the Asian fusion dishes are also tempting – try the beef curry. Wine list is short enough but well-chosen with almost everything available by the glass.

Bear Brass
www.bearbrass.com.au
A trendy bar in the Southgate building, it’s a great place to people-watch after work or on an early summer’s evening. Cocktails are good and bar snacks hit the spot.

Melbourne CBD

>Syracuse, 23 Bank Place
(03) 9670 1777
This beautiful old building with high ceilings and marble-top tables reminds me of Prague or Vienna. The focus is totally on the wine at Syracuse. The wine list is dozens of pages long, with prices ranging up to the thousands of dollars. The food is served in smaller tapas-like platters, mostly with a Mediterranean or Middle Eastern flavour.

Our garlic prawns were sublime, and the ordinary-looking chicken liver pate was amongst the best I have ever tasted. The waiters are knowledgeable and helped me navigate the encyclopaedic wine selections without taking out a second mortgage.

City Wine Shop, 159 Spring Street
www.citywineshop.net.au
Opposite Parliament and downstairs from the fabulous Melbourne Supper Club, the City Wine Shop feels as if it has been a part of Melbourne for years. Sit on the tiny outside terrace, inside at the bar or in the back room on the high stools surrounding the communal table.

Sample the cheeses of the day and choose from a wall of wine worthy of the famous Cul de Sac wine bar in Rome. The tiny menu is hard to resist too. But the best thing – of course – is the wine. Sample the fruits of unusual varieties such as arneis, viognier, durif and langrein without having to fork out for the whole bottle.

Ezard at Adelphi 187 Flinders Lane
www.ezard.com.au
Teage Ezard is the gastronimical high priest of Australian fee style food, as he calls it. A visit to this restaurant is less of a night out than a pilgrimage. The eight course tasting menu is recommended.

Bennetts Lane Jazz Club, 25 Bennetts Lane
www.bennettslane.com
The Melbourne equivalent of Ronnie Scotts and the home of the Bennetts Lane International Jazz FestivalCookie, 252 Swanston StreetYou will find an obscenely long bar in this place, with a similarly impressive wine and beer list. The balcony is a good place to people-watch.

Victoria Market, 513 Elizabeth Street
www.qvm.com.au
Victoria Market is a historic landmark in Melbourne – it is the largest open-air market in the southern hemisphere. Originally known as a food market, it is now the place to buy anything from organic fruit and veg, authentic Mediterranean food, hardward and of course Aussie souvenirs.

The Night Market takes place on Wednesday nights in summer, Its major focus is on food and entertainment. About 20 food hawkers provide a culturally rich range of food including African, Mexican. Spanish, Malaysian, Indian and Middle Eastern street food – not to mention the wineries who set up stall and sell fantastic wines by the glass or case! A great place to spend a summer’s evening.

Feddish, River Building, Yarra Terrace, Federation Square
In a city like this, sometimes a sunny spot is not what you seek. On one of the hottest days of the year, the outside terrace at Feddish is a shady spot where you can relax and watch Melbourne melt whilst you sip a cold martini. The food is not bad either: modern Australian staples with interesting choices such as peking duck risotto and char-grilled crocodile on rainforest rice. Pretty good wine list, with a decent by-the-glass selection which actually offers non-Aussie wines too.

>Chinatown

>Ding Dong Lounge, 18 Market Lane (close to Chinatown)
Rock ‘n’ roll meets modern Australian in this decidedly cooler-than-thou bar in central Melbourne. Shades optional.

Flower Drum, 17 Market Lane
Considered to be one of the best (and most expensive) restaurants of any cuisine in Australia, the Flower Drum is almost impossible to get a table in. But well worth the wait.

Camy Shanghai Dumpling & Noodle Restaurant, 25 Tatterstalls la
This cheap canteen serves up the most delicious dumplings and lots more. Sit at the formica tables, help yourself to tea in a plastic cup or bring your own wine or beer. Select at random and feast for pennies.

Lygon Street and beyond

>Our slow food appetites sated (for now), we headed off again on the bus, inspecting our purchases and reading from Mena’s Australian Countrywomen’s Association Book of Cooked and Uncooked Slices. There were no less than three Cherry Ripe slices to choose from.

We hopped off at the top of Lygon Street and Sam marched us all into Percy’s Bar. It wasn’t until we saw the footy on the TV that we realised what all the rush was. It is week one of the 2006 Finals, which is sort of the quarter-finals onwards. All very crucial games of course, especially in footy-mad Melbourne.

Percy’s is an old-fashioned bar, with little room for more than a U-shaped bar, lots of bar-stools, a TV in the corner, the local character in the other corner, and a well-endowed pretty barmaid. But this is Little Italy: the men at the bar avidly watching the footy were not sat in front of pints of beer. On the bar in front of each of them sat an ice bucket or wine cooler, with a nice bottle of white wine. Or in the case of the burly Mafia-looking bloke beside Mena, a lovely fruity sparkling rose in a pretty Mateus Rose type bottle. A refreshing look at masculinity in the twenty-first century, we thought.

Onwards and upwards to Jimmy Watson’s Wine Bar, a Melbourne institution. We only stopped for a quick drink. A few tables inside were taken up with people long past their lunch and unable to drag themselves home. Outside in the small leafy courtyard a bunch of student-looking people sat around an obscene number of bottles of wine whilst we sat and reviewed the day and rested our tired feet for the walk ahead.

Enoteca Vino Bar is at the far end of Lygon Street, past the main strip, north past Jimmy Watson’s and Percy’s, further beyond the council flats and the new university digs, a few minutes’ walk past the cemetery. It was worth the wait.

Enoteca Sileno next door started out as an importing company, bringing the finest Italian wines, artisan-produced pastas, olive oils and numerous other Italian goodies to Melburnians. They opened Enoteca Vino Bar next door in mid-2004.

We entered through the shop itself, with high shelves stocked full of wine, pasta, olive oil, and other Italian specialities. Our table for ten was in private corner around the back with some more friends of Sam and Amanda’s. There we feasted on assaggini (the Italian version of tapas) including the most delicious whitebait any of us have ever eaten, and some amazing wines by the glass, mostly Italian.

My choice was a lovely Sardinian red, not too robust. Mena chose a rosé which was served unchilled but was no less enjoyable for it. Orlando started with a glass of proseccho which tasted incredibly sweet. The waitress noticed after some time that he wasn’t touching his glass, and volunteered another sparkling wine she thought might suit him better. Now that is what I call good service.

Our main courses were beautiful, and beautifully presented. My seafood linguine was served in a baking paper package, which was unwrapped at the table in front of me. As a result all of the flavour was trapped inside. Divine. Mena’s slow-roast lamb looked and smelled delicious, and there was a mountain of it. Orlando’s spatchcock was well-seasoned but a little dry, he said.

All in all it was a perfect Slow end to a perfect Slow day. We hopped on the tram outside the door and stopped off in Hairy Canary, a favourite haunt of Mena’s, for one for the road. Home again on the train after almost exactly twelve hours of celebrating good food, good wine, and good friends. What more can you ask for?

chocolate heaven

We wandered the last little pocket of the grounds as the crowds started to die away. Many of the stallholders had sold out and were tidying up or standing around chatting. I noticed a preserves stall and Mena and I tried a Food Symphony divine raisin, tea and tokay preserve – perfect for a bread-and-butter pudding or, well, simply sitting quietly and eating with a spoon direct from the jar.

The outright winner was an impossibly rich chocolate, vanilla and port dipping sauce made with real Belgian chocolate. Even Orlando was deeply impressed. I immediately asked to buy a jar and Jamie, the owner, said he only had tasting stock and had none to sell. I vowed to go straight to David Jones the next day and buy some. We thanked him for his time, took a business card, and walked away. Moments later I felt a tug at my sleeve. Jamie stood with his last remaining jar of the chocolate sauce, and handed it to me. “A gift”, he said. “You loved it so much I couldn’t not give it to you.” What a lovely guy.

Orlando took it straight off me and put it in his backpack. I guess I won’t be seeing that again.

The Ark of Taste

>
Back around the other side of the convent, Orlando and I entered the Ark of Taste. It was all quite mysterious: we queued for about ten minutes to get in, and stood in a dark confined space surrounded by red velvet curtains whilst a woman called Astrid explained what we were about to see.

The idea of the Ark of Taste is to try and protect some of the world’s food which are endangered. The International Ark Guidelines state that to be accepted onto the Ark of Taste all products must be:

– Outstanding in terms of taste
– Endangered or underthreat
– Related to or part of the history of a group of people
– Related to or part of the history of a place
– In limited production

Inside, we were given tasting implements (spoon, dipping stick etc.) and wandered from stand to stand tasting and hearing about the many foods which are endangered.

An elderly lady from the Australian Countrywomen’s Association explained that backing skills were being lost as so many people were too busy and relied on shop-bought cakes and sponge mixes instead of using the old methods. She patiently explained not to “go at your sponge mix like a bull at a gate” but to stir it gently so as not to remove the air from the mixture. Certainly the sample I tried was as light as a feather.

The aged beef was unbelievably tender and full of flavour. I asked the man what the ideal time was to hang beef, and how long the usual supermarket meat had been hung. His reply was that three to six weeks was a good time to age beef, whilst the stuff we buy in the supermarket was so fresh it was “still yelling” as he put it.

The leatherwood honey from Tasmania had a distinct smoky flavour to it. The rare smoked eelhad a distinctive and delicious taste.

A poignant stall showed Mount Emu cheese which used to be made in rural Victoria, by introducing a particular mould into the cheese making process. When the cheese-maker’s lease expired they had to move to new premises, and the new local council would not allow them to use this particular mould for health and safety reasons. Without it, the cheese was no longer special. The last of these amazing cheeses were manufactured in 2004, and the cheese maker has not gone out of business permanently. And we think that the EU has the monopoly on bureaucracy.

Orlando got chatting to a man called George from up near Albury on the border with NSW. He was there with his wife and daughter. The daughter had just graduated and was finding it as hard as we had to get a job in Melbourne, where who you know is more important that what you know. The man’s sister and brother-in-law had a stall in the Ark of Taste with locally-produced fortified wines, a fino, an amontillado and an oloroso. We tasted all three and Mena squirreled two of their tiny tasting glasses away in her pockets.

I tasted some real butter, made from the milk of a single jersey herd, and never frozen like the mass-produced butter we buy. What a completely different taste.